Friends,,, we all have them ,,, right ??? Some good friends and some not so good friends,,, some not enough friends and some too many friends,,, but we all know something about friendships – In my experience there are a few basic characteristics/actions that are necessary to have best friends,,, the ones that are above and beyond,,, so to speak !!
So what are these qualities that are required,,, (in my mind),,, to have or to be a “Best Friend”.
Well you have to have a desire to be a friend to that person, you have to want to be their friend as well- You have to be willing to give and forgive and to bite your tongue on those occasions when they are having a bad moment or bad day !! You need to just be there when they are silently calling you !! It will take time so you have to be patient as you build a relationship and start to feel what and how they feel,,, not necessarily agreeing to everything they feel or think,,, but to just start to feel it inside !! You have to be able to apologize and except an apology when needed- This is the bases for a good start,,, but there is one thing that I feel is the most important to a best friend relationship ,,,, P-a-r-t-i-c-i-p-a-t-i-o-n ,,, Participation !!!
You have to actively take part in this friendship,,, spend time with them,,,, listen to them,,, talk with them,,, laugh and cry with them,,,, you have to be there when they need you ,,, even if you are oceans or miles apart !!! I believe that this is the most essential to a lasting friendship !!!
In this day and age it is a lot easier to stay in touch, with all the social media and electronics ,,, but you still have to make the effort,,, constantly !!!
This was one of my main shortcomings ,,, make the effort !!! I was a one-sided friend a lot of the time with people that I really valued as friends- There were times when I could feel their pain,,, but didn’t respond,,, I knew inside I needed to be there,,, but didn’t respond,,, I needed to reach out and touch base,,, but didn’t respond… and over time that valued friendship drifted away- It turned from a flame to a cool ember !!!
It is said that “time cures all” but it can also “destroy a friendship if you let it pass for too long without participation”
But here is the good news,,, if it was a true best friend,,, then there is still,,, most likely, an ember deep down in side of that person for you !!! But if you are the cause,,, as I was,,, you have to make the first move !! Swallow your pride and sincerely apologize and confess your shortcomings to them- It is hard I know, as no one really is comfortable admitting they were wrong- Take the heat, so to speak, and make the effort,,, if they were a true friend ,,, that effort will spark that ember and they will open the door to reconciliation !!!
When that happens,,, humble yourself and make a sincere effort to actively participate going forward !!! It isn’t easy ,,,, I know for sure !!!!
Having said all this,,, there is one true friend that has always been with me,,, through thick and thin,,, through the hard times and the good times,,, through my running away and arrogance and my selfishness, self-reliance lone wolf world dream,,, He was always there when I called !!! It is the Lord Jesus Christ !!!!
He didn’t always give me what I wanted,,, but he supplied what I needed,,, including discipline at times !!!
How do you gain Jesus as a true best friend,,, well the basics are just the same- You have to want to be his friend,,, you have to believe he is who he is,,, you have to be willing to ask forgiveness from him and admit you fall short of the mark- You have to learn about him and talk with him and listen for his response and guidance and actively try and follow his guidance !!
As you accept him and grow in him,,, he will grow in you and always,,, always be there for you and will fill you with a peace inside that is beyond comprehension, to us as human-
The frosting on this great cake and relationship is that you will go to heaven to spend eternity with him in perfect harmony,,, again beyond our comprehension !!!
God Bless Your Day !!!