Truth will always come home to roost- If you have any conscience (the sense or consciousness of the moral goodness or blameworthiness of one’s own conduct, intentions, or character together with a feeling of obligation to do right or be good) left in you,,, the truth is going to always convict you of any lie you are living !!!
One of the truths that I have been denying (to refuse to recognize or acknowledge; disown; disavow; repudiate) most of my life is the deception that I could ride the fence between heaven and earth, so to speak !!!
I found Jesus Christ at an early age and he begin to bless me for my decision to follow him- But as I aged and got further into the world view, I let Pride and Arrogance, along with Self- Glorification deceive me into believing that I could cheat the system and live both in the world (Devil Controlled) and in Heaven (God Controlled)- As I got further and further into the deceptions of this world, I, of course, got further and further from heaven- When I would run into difficulties in this world I would have to jump back over the fence to the heaven side for help-
Well I lived this deception for years and years,,, up to the point that one night, I distinctly remember thinking to myself that I could just wake up tomorrow and ask forgiveness and all would be okay and forgiven !!! Well that arrogant, self-centered delusion was the beginning of the end of my deceptive life !!!
You can only mock God for so long until, because he loves you as a father, it is time to discipline you and get your attention back on the right track !! Believe me, God the Father, that created us all knows infinitely well everything about you and knows exactly how to get your attention-
For me it was basically taking away everything that I was worldly connected too or took pride in and thought could never end- He also humbled me further with a physical disability that I had never imagined could happen to me,,, all in about 18 months !!! 69 years of living,,, basically drastically changed in 18 months !!!
So was I mad and resentful of him,,, did I rebel and fight against him,,, surprising enough,,, I did not,,, as I knew in my heart,,, exactly what was going on,,, consequences of the life style I had chosen !!!
But as all this was going on,,, I ran back to him for support and help- As I returned back to him, he filled me with his heavenly peace and Holy Spirit and also provided what I needed to survive- He also gave me a lot of time alone to think about my life, what I had lived, and the sins I had committed to have a moment of worldly pleasure- As I looked back over the 69 years,,, it really is just a moment in time,,, just a moment !!!
What a Glorious God we have in Jesus as he loved me enough to lovingly disciple me and help me get back on the right (Heaven) side of the fence- I certainly am not saying I am perfect by any means and still have to live with the circumstances of my life decisions,,, but I am finally at peace with myself and God !!
I thank Jesus everyday for his love and patience with me !!!
If you are riding the fence,,, take it from me,,, make a commitment right now to get back on the Heaven side and stop kidding yourself as I did for all those years- It may not seem like the best place to be in this world,,, but it is definitely the best place to be in the next- He (Jesus) will always be there to support and comfort you until the real heaven comes !!!
God Bless in everything you do !!!