I spent quite a bit of time in Alaska- Living, Playing, Working, Hiking, Boating, Fishing and Hunting- Alaska is a beautiful place, full of breath-taking scenery- Most everywhere you go there you can stop and take a deep breath and be filled with clean, fresh Mountain Air- If you ever get a chance you should go experience it- The summers are fantastic with almost continuous daylight,,, you seem to never run out of energy-

It is GREAT,,, but there can be one downside when you are out and about,,, No-See-Ums !!!! These are itty bitty biting flies (smaller then mosquito’s)- When they bite they leave a welt with a major itch !!!! We call them No-See-Ums,,, because ,,, unless you get into a swarm of them,,, you can hardly see them,, until they strike !!!! We would wear hat nets like bee keepers but with real small mesh because they will come right through most screen mesh- You cover yourself with insect repellent and try to keep the bare skin to a minimum out in the bush- Anyhow they will always be around to bug you and usually will always find an unprotected spot to attack !!! But,,, there is one thing they can’t handle,,,, a gentle breeze- They can be swarming around you and driving you crazy,,, but as soon as you get a gentle breeze they are driven to ground immediately- Oh how great those gentle breezes are !!!!

It seems to me that we also have another type of No-See-Um in the spiritual realm- I would label them the Demon-No-See-Ums !!! The other night I was a bit in the dumps and was having all kinds of thoughts about,, self-pity,, whoa is me,, pride,, arrogance,, why did I deserve my situation,, prejudice,, greed,, selfishness and give me a break God !!! Well as I was setting there thinking and heating myself up about everything,,, the No-See-Ums came to mind- All these self-serving thoughts I was fighting were just like a swarm of Demon-No-See-Ums attacking from all fronts- For a bit they were winning,,, but then I thought of the gentle breeze that sends Alaska No-See-Ums to ground- I stopped, focused and prayed to God for a bit of heavenly breath/breeze,,, you know what,,, almost instantly the Demon-No-See-Ums must have went to ground,,, because I felt relived and understood the selfishness of my thoughts- You know if you just stop and focus on Jesus and ask,, he will send you the breeze of his powerful breath to send all your Demon-No-See-Ums to ground-

It is a filling breath of fresh air !!!! He is always, always there for you if you just believe in him and accept what he is !!!!!

What is your Plan

So what is your plan- We all have plans for what we want to be,,, where we want to go,,, what we want to see,,, who we want to be with or like !!!! Glorious Plans !!!! Usually self-guided plans that we want to control and adjust ourselves- I was exactly the same,,, I had some Grand Plans !!!

Now let me tell you how my self-guided plan rolled out,,, from experience- As you may recall, if you have followed this site a bit,,, that I am a true believer in God and the Son Jesus – I accepted them early in my life- He has always been with me and protected/guided me in most things I self-directed– You see I was using the free gifts from God to my advantage,,, to glorify myself- He gave me health, size, strength and a good personality so I could get along- Every time I got myself into a problem from my self-direction I turned back to Jesus and he bailed my out, so to speak- Well that went on for 69 years-

Now God is our father,,,, and like any good father he loves us unconditionally and wants the best for us- He guides us, and comforts us and protects us from harm- He is always there for us to turn back to,,,, but there is a point that a father has to discipline his children as he sees they are headed for heartache and disaster- A caring father does not discipline because he hates,,, he disciplines because he loves !!!!

Well my best laid, self-directed, self-glorifying plans came to a screeching halt at 69- That is when God, my father, decided that I had strayed far enough and needed to show me just how quickly my self-made plans could change, before I ruined my eternity !!!

Ahhhh ,,, June of 2018,,, I turned 69- I was riding the wave,, Good Health, still strong, a little money in the bank, wife with a good income producing business and I could retire to live the relaxed life- It seemed my self-directed plan was working out okay ???? Then a little lump developed on my lower right leg just below the knee- Didn’t think much about it as it didn’t hurt,,, unless I bumped it hard- I could work it out,, probably just a calcium deposit or something,,, no big deal- Well a couple months went by and it started to grow and hurt a little- Better go get his looked at ??? That was September 2018 !!!

Well here is the short story- In early October it was diagnosed as Sarcoma cancer,,, still no big deal we would just cut it off- Later in October more cancer was found in the lower part of my leg- So on the 2nd of November we amputated my lower right leg below the knee (Cut out the Cancer before it could spread)- Now I will tell you that this is a big game changer- When they mention Cancer and Amputation in the same sentence,,, it gets your attention !!!!

Lots of down/thinking time waiting for an amputation to heal so you can start with prostetics- Lots of time to think back on my life,,,, but I remained arrogent and full of pride that “I” could beat this- Yes I was praying a lot and asking for help and comfort and the Lord provided,,,, but way down deep I was still thinking “I” “I” could beat this- Well let me tell you,,, you can’t mock God !!!

I started working on a Magic Prostetic leg in January 2019 and was able to head back home in March of 2019- Well in April of 2019 my wife and I decided that it was best if we separate, now I am living alone and spending the most of the $$$ I had planned for the “good life” on Doctors, Operations and Prostetics !!!!

This all sounds pretty bad and depressing, and boy did this guy have a run of bad luck,,, well luck had nothing to do with this- I realized from the very first day that this was God showing me that he still loves me,,, even after a lifetime of using all that he had given me to glorify myself- I was backsliding to chase after the temporary good times of the world-

I thank the Lord everyday for loving me and showing me just how temporary and fleeting all my best laid plans in this world,,, for this world ,,,, really are !!!

The Lord Jesus has humbled me and shown me the error of my ways- I will be the last to say ,,, this is easy,,, NO,,, it is hard,,, real hard,,,, but through it all he has filled me with a peace and comfort inside that overcomes all external hardships and needs !!!

Find Jesus ,,, believe and accept him and he will never leave you alone !!! I truly believe and have now witnessed that in my own life !!! Thank You Lord Jesus,, All Glory belongs to you !!!!




Nail on the Head

I ran across this prayer today by Henri Nouwen – It pretty much hits the nail right on the head when I think back over my life – I was hung on the first two sentences !!! But also understood what the Lord was speaking to my heart,,,, I was full of Pride and Arrogance.

We can’t have it both ways,,,, either we spend/waste our life trying to be in control and the master of our destiny thus reaping what we sow — but — we never fulfill the deepest desires of our heart.

We need to surrender and open our hands to receive God’s gift of love -You will never regret taking his hand !!!

Dear God,

I so much want to be in control. 
I want to be the master of my own destiny. 
Still I know that you are saying: 
“Let me take you by the hand and lead you. 
Accept my love
and trust that where I will bring you, 
the deepest desires of your heart will be fulfilled.” 
Lord, open my hands to receive your gift of love.

Maybe Just One Ear Bud

I was walking yesterday afternoon,,, it was a really nice, warm sunny day- There was another guy walking toward me and waved as he went by- I said “Good Morning” and was about to ask how he was and I noted that he had in ear buds,,, So it would have done no good to talk further with him !!

Have you ever noticed how people with headphones or ear buds covering both ears are always looking all around- I know when I have them in I am constantly looking all around,,, Why,,, because I have lost touch with the world around me- I can’t hear anything coming up behind me,, can’t hear the wind in the trees,, can’t hear the birds or crickets singing,,, can’t hear the sounds coming from the ground I am walking on- I know that I am missing out on some of the pleasant and/or warning sounds around me- I certainly don’t talk much with people when I have them in,,, and people don’t want to talk with me when I have them in –

So what are we doing to ourselves and the people around us,,,,, We are isolating ourselves from interaction with our world- In my mind the more you isolate yourself,,, the more you withdraw from things,,, the more you withdraw, the more you start to deal with depression because you feel you can’t relate,,, then you start having all sorts of paranoid thoughts about the people and places around you ,,, because you won’t/can’t let yourself try and understand it- Man oh Man ,,, that does not sound good at all !!!!

Maybe Just One Ear Bud !!!!